There it was: a housecoat. He had wanted one for such a long time now!
The elegance of the plaid pattern blew his eyes away. The red crisscrossed pattern clashed with his green smiley faced pajamas, but it mattered not. It was a housecoat, and it was his. He was now king of his house. His castle now had a ruler with ROBES. How badass was that?
The man reflected for a moment. Very, was his answer. Very badass.
Look at me, he said as he relfected uppon his viasage in the mirror, look at the handsome and devilishly good looking man in the housecoat. It flowed on the non-existent breeze, flapping away in his imagination. His grin grew a mile wide, and he knew what must be done.
He left his boudoir and alerted his subjects to his precence.
“Ladies and gentlemen, nobles and peasants, look at me! Upon my back I wear a MIGHTY ROBE OF AWESOME. It is mine, and mine alone! Now, do my bidding!”
The group of three grown men looked at him, bewildered and exhausted.
“It’s a housecoat. Seriously. you’ve been wearing it for like, a month. It’s time you took it off.”
The man refuised. He cried mutiny! at the top of his lungs, ran forward, and jumped through the window, glass shards badassedly flying all around. He then landed headfirst into the pavement.
Ow, he thought. What am I doing outisde? Why am I coverd in glass?
He look down. Oh right, he remembered, I’m a badass with a badass housecoat. Look at me &$^#, I’m fabulous.