Relationships: Things Happen vs For the Best

Like this post hitting your stupid face, for instance.

I am not of the opinion that “things happen for a reason” such that there is a master plan for everything, another way of saying “____ works in mysterious ways”. Whether it’s a bird shitting on you or a car accident, it still implies that cancer “happens” for a reason other than “because if cancer was a person, it’d be a %$^&ing asshole, and a serial killer”. It’s a frustrating thing to hear people say, and every time someone says it I punt a puppy.

Why? “Things happen!”

However, things happening for the best? That’s different. The implication being that the social outcome of a problem sticky in nature can work out for the overall good of people involved. This is something that happens frequently, but especially in relationships.

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard of or seen a relationship explode and it has been for the better afterwards. Every single broken relationship I can think of has benefitted from this thought, and overall makes for happier people at the end of an unhappy chapter. That mode of thought allows for catharsis, rather than a need for retribution or revenge.

For instance, two of my friends just got out of a relationship with one another. Although the specifics are hugely juicy and super interesting, I won’t go into them in detail; suffice to say, it had been almost a year before they broke up that the relationship started suffering from lethal lack of communication.

Sometimes, there's nothing you can do. And then sometimes, there's a pair of scissors...

In the end, neither party was fully happy in the relationship: one person scared the other one anytime an issue showed itself, which cause both parties to hide things from one another and essentially not communicate (arguably the blood of a relationship).

Right now, things are ugly. Some friends are taking sides, others are condemning and complaining (and we all know that any fool can condemn and complain… and most do), and everyone’s acting like the break up was a bad thing. HORRIBLE. NOTHING COULD BE WORSE, X TREATED Y LIKE CRAP, Y WAS A MONGER ‘, BLAH BLAH ASS-TAINTING CHAFE FUCKS WE’RE GONNA DIE IF WE DON’T RAISE HELL.

Very, very stupid.

Why? Why on Earth are we getting worked up about a good thing?

The end of a relationship like this is much like a forest fire to a dying grove. The trees are gnarled, old, and rotting. Immediately after being burned, the area smells like ash and ass. Give it time, and the place grows back better than ever before!

My point is this: you have to look at a bigger picture, and look at all the consequences. Right now it’s ugly, true. Living situations are messed, feelings are bruised, and friendships are kind being torn; but that’s all people look at these days! Short term shit. Long term? Both people will be in happier relationships, and people will have completely forgotten about this situation. Life goes on.

Also, this avoids a lot of the drama, which is something that makes this puppy punter politely pat a puppy instead.

And this makes for happier puppies. Healthier ones too!

Now to bed. I’m so tired. Of everything. Shit included.



  1. “Things happen for a reason” has been corrupted by people with good intentions, and we all know how I feel about people with good intentions. Hitler had good intentions. So there.

    Things DO happen for a reason. It’s called CAUSE AND EFFECT.

    So your Dad gets cancer and dies and someone tells you “Things happen for a reason” and you think “ORLY? My Dad died for a reason? WHAT REASON!?”

    Listen closely now. The reason your Dad died. It was because…HE HAD CANCER!!!

    But why did the cancer happen?

    That’s irrelevant. Nobody knows. No, it’s not smoking. If smoking causes cancer then George Burns would not have lived to be 100 then died, cancer-free. Some people smoke all their life and don’t get cancer. Some people never smoke, and do get it.

    Actually I have a theory about this. Cancer happens because we’re living too long. Humans can reproduce as early as 14-15 years of age, sometimes earlier in abnormal cases, while most women go through menopause around 50 years of age. What does that mean? It means humans should not be living as long as we do. We should be dead by 60. Instead we’re artificially extending our lifespan. Although that doesn’t explain why some children and infants get cancer within the first years of their life. So, why did the cancer happen? Nobody knows, and it’s irrelevant anyway, because cancer was the cause and your Dad’s death was the effect.

    Yes, your Dad died for a reason. It was because he had cancer. Or maybe it was because he didn’t look both ways crossing the road. Or because the sun was shining in the driver’s eyes so he looked away for a second and then was distracted by a pretty girl…while he was getting a head job from his wife. Death is NOT a reason; death is an effect. Something caused the death. Whether it was an injury, a sickness, or just your body saying, “I’ve lived a long and happy life. Time to shut down.” There is a reason for death but that reason precedes death, it doesn’t come afterwards.

    So you and your girlfriend break up and your idiot friend with good intentions tells you “Things happen for a reason” not realizing what he really means is there was a cause, and the effect of that cause was your relationship ending. What was the cause? Maybe you fought too much. Maybe you didn’t fight enough (& she thought you too wishy-washy). Maybe she met someone else. Maybe you did. Maybe she won the lotto and didn’t tell you so she’s breaking up with you to keep the money all to herself. Your relationship ending is not happening because it’s part of some grandiose, spiritual plan by the All Father. It ended because something happened in your relationship that made one or both you realize “This isn’t working.”

    Things happen for a reason, it’s called Cause and Effect, and usually the thing that happened was an effect.


Say something!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s