Heroes of Newerth: Grrrrrross.

The Leader shook his head sadly, inspecting the new heroes. Some had seen too many seasons, some had seen far too few. Either way, none of these people were ready for war.

“Alright, now you all listen up!” The Leader began to pace in front of them. “Before you all go out there, I need to know what you’re capable of so I can point you in the right direction. Why don’t we start with you, the purple guy.”

The large demon entity shifted a little. “Well, I kill people by shooting them or blowing them up with my magic, then shove them in a soul sac. I can then release their energies to decimate my opponents.”

That couldn’t be right. “So wait, let me get this straight,” The Leader began, “You beat people to death, and then blow your load all over the enemy? And you can only do this after you’ve worked for it a little and you can only do this once every 2 minutes?”

The Demon thought for a minute. “Yup!”

The Leader shook his head and moved on. “Gross. How about you, fatty?”

The large, fat, undead corpse golem stirred. “I grab people with my hook, and then eat them raw.”

The Leader though for a moment. ” So wait. You hook them and eat them raw?”

“Yes, and then let loose angry cloud of plague.”

“So you fart on them to death?”

After a short pause, the golem responded only by saying “num num num” as he chewed on an unfortunate victim’s leg.

The Leader began to feel a little sick. “Okay, that’s even worse. How bad could the last one be?”

“I eat the bodies of the dead then puke them out to eat them again, only to shit them out as little minions that run around and beat people to death before I let loose Hell on Newerth, if ya know what I mean.”

The Leader could barely keep his lunch in, and left in a hurry to find the nearest washroom.

The last demon chased after him. “But I didn’t tell you about how I have infectious diseases that stop you from talking, or that I starred in 2 demons one cauldron!”


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