A Lack Of Posting

Sorry for the lack of posting.

I have a few good reasons for this, and none of which matter a single flying fuck to many; but it’s my blog and I’ll /rage/bitch/rant if I want to.

First of which, I’ve been all over the place in terms of things to do.  Their are many things that take priority over the blog, or heck, I might not even have access to the internet.  That such a terror inducing thing still exists is mind boggling, but somehow I manage.  Or I don’t, seeing as my posting has been the suck as of lately.

Secondly, my computer bugged out and reset completely.  I’ve been reinstalling, reformatting, and re-finding all of the things I had before.  And I lost everything I had on the computer save my purchased iTunes music.  Thank god, because I totally had spent at least $100 on the shiz.  I lost all my videos, dowloads, games, addons, and pictures though.

Pictures.  Like the ones of Lorelai and myself.  Those were good.

I say were, because we are no longer.  That’s the other thing: Lorelai and I broke up.  Mutually, and in a freakishly civil fashion, I might add.  Sure, it started out rough, but we were laughing by the end of it, and it could have been a lot worse.

The fact remains that I spent 3 years of my life living for someone, and now I feel relatively lost.  I feel bored of everything, I feel frustrated, and I feel irritable.  The world outside isn’t something I really want to work with.  Right now, and I’m being frank, I feel like this shit is about as shitty as it gets.

I know it’s not the end of the world, and I have 3/4’s of my life left as of tomorrow (yay, 21 bitches) but… to be fair, she was my first girlfriend, ever.  I have liked girls before, duh, but she was the first I loved.  It’s just a new experience, and a really fucking painful one, ya know?

The worst part of it all is that I still don’t quite feel it.  I mean, I feel like driftwood: I’m just kinda there.

But yeah, there’s the update.  On top of which, there were a few calls in my general direction about jobs, and then nothing.  So, not a good week.

PHiL

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