What The Heck: Hoop Earrings

These might be shower curtain rings, YOU DONT KNOW.

These might be shower curtain rings, YOU DON'T KNOW.

In the spirit of the blog, I’ve decided it’s time for you all to know more about me every week.  Just a little something, but something nonethteless.

This week, I’m talking about shower curtain rings.  The really expensive ones.

They’re actually earrings? You could have fooled me.

See, whenever I see someone wearing these little hoops of dysentric stupidity, I can’t help but think badly of them.  Why? Because I associate hoop earrings with bitchy, intolerable, snot nosed, stupid, ignorant, pissant, prissy, potty mouthed poodles who belong in nothing better than a Shaquille O’Neil movie as an extra.

Why is that? Who knows; but here’s my big beef:

Why the hell are you wearing something I could use as a shower curtain ring? I can’t tell if they’re earrings or something I bathe with.  Seriously! More often than not there’s no difference outside of the fact that the earrings are typically silver, and that doesn’t count.  Why? Because someone bought an $18000 umbrella stand, and that means someone can buy $500 shower curtain rings and pretend they’re jewelery.

Which brings me to my next point: why pay $500 for something I can buy at Home Hardware for like, I don’t know, $15? Same shit, less hassle.

Speaking of hassle, don’t those… things, get caught on stuff? I mean, I can’t count the number of times my earphone cable gets caught on my pants, door handles, errant nails, or anything just hanging around.  These things are asking, begging to be ripped off of their fleshy perch.  Look at them! If there is a God, he would be pulling them for fun.

So yeah, I don’t really care for these circular attention seekers, as the only attention they garner from me is a facepalm and a hope that someone or something rips them off.

What do you think about Hoop Earrings?

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5 comments

  1. The ranty side of Phil, have not seen a good one of these since the cockroach saga! 😀

    I remember in 2nd grade some not so smart (to say it nicely) got one of her hoop earrings caught on some coat hanger in the closet.

    Hoop earrings = teh suck
    Hoop earrings and being 3ft tall = lol your ear has detached from your body!

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  2. Our 5 y/old daughter (nvm, she’s not 5 until next month) has her ears pierced, but because of the example described by Eldadres I shall never allow her to wear hoops until she’s at least a teenager.

    But even then if you’re wearing hoop ear rings (especially those large enough to double as shower curtain rings) I’d say you better be a bloody nice person and not piss anyone off, at all, for any reason, because if you get into an argument and that argument escalates into a fight and you’re wearing hula hoop-sized ear rings, there are some nasty people that would take great delight in detaching your hula hoop ear ring from your body, and if your ear lobe comes off with the hoop, they’d like that even better.

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  3. In the UK its considered quite a chavvy look, so you won’t see them near me, I prefer dangly earrings myself, but I often just wear studs since they don’t get in the way, depends if I’m going out or not.

    There is a greater issue here in terms of modern fashion, its getting ridiculous. I can’t think of a better case in point than Lady Gaga look at her, really look at what she wears, its bizarre! If you saw some random person dressed like that you wouldn’t go anywhere near them, but because she’s a celebrity she (usually) gets away with it.

    Personally though I’ll take hoop earrings any day if the alternative is a flesh tunnel *shudder*

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