I Am A Wizard

Mrow.

I am a wizard.

Not like the smart guy type, but the kind that mind controls people and throws fireballs and stuff.

Why would I say that? A picture says a thousand words.

This is totally going on LolCats

For those of you not running away in fear, you might be asking: why the %#$@ am I wearing a tuque and a pair of gloves in 23.8 degrees Celcius weather? Well duh, the hat adds +2 intelligence and the gloves +3 intelligence.  I min-max my stats, hur.

But yeah, musicians? Were wizards.  Why? For one, our music or “spells” are kept in volumes, books, tomes, and codexes and only those educated in our art can actually read them.  Want to try? Here, give this a shot.

An excerpt of Yann Tiersen's La Dispute.

Second, we have many strange tools and artifacts that help us produce more powerful “spells” and more accurate spells than we alone could do.

Third, we have an attire we need to wear in order to perform our art in front of people, one that no one else in their right and sane mind would want to wear on a daily basis due to bodily discomfort.

Fourth, we have one of these.

This is a conducter’s baton.  What else does it look like?

Why, yes! It looks like a wand.  The difference being that one is magical and the other is not; or so you’d think! With one of these babies, I can mind control well over 30 people at once to do my bidding, and to play music that makes grown men cry.

Speaking of which, we musicians can control your feelings to an extent.  Have you noticed how some music keeps you bouncy on a rainy day and other music depresses you on a level you can’t imagine? Yeah, that’s the power we have.  You listen to music that drives when you work out, mellow music to relax, and fast paced angry music when you’re steamed in an effort to properly express your anger.

Musicians are not to be messed with.  We are the closest that Real Life has to actual Wizards.

Now where did I put my firebal spell…