Wafers < Twinkies

Not because of taste.  Normally.

Not because of taste. Normally.

Lunch, noon time.

And the sun… is high.  I was also hungry, so I thought it was high time for some lunch.

I was working for my Grandma that day, and I was annoyed(weeds), frustrated(weeds), and exasperated(weeds).  In case you didn’t know, I was pulling weeds.

When what to my ear should appear but the holler of mid-day, that the food was near.  Grandma called me in for lunch, and I was happy to oblige.

After having a wonderful turkey broth and some bananas and ice cream, Grandma asked whether or not I would like to have some cookies.  I said something to the tune of “hell yes please” when she told me there were 2 kinds: chocolate chip and wafers.

I hadn’t had wafers in a long time, and it was high time for a sugar fix.  I chose the wafers, my mouth already watering as she pulled out the delicious pink and yellow cookies.  I could already taste the artificial strawberries and lemons.

Grandma put down the cookie jar and sat down in the chair to my left next to the window that overlooks the lake.  She began telling me how when she grew up(oh dear), she didn’t have that many sweets.

That’s nice Grandma, I’m about to have a cookie.

I put the cookie in my mouth and began chewing as she said this:

“… in fact, when I was no more than 10 years old, I would get a little money sometimes and I would spend it on these cookies here.  That was my treat.”

That’s nice Grandm- wait, what?

When.

She.

Was.

10.

I now know that the wafer will not outlast the twinkie.  Not by a long shot, seeing as my grandma is now well over 80 and this… thing… was not a wafer.  It looks like wafer, but if I had used my nose like a smart person I would have found out that it smelled like a biological weapon.

Lesson learned: wafers have an expiry date.

Excuse me while I go and scrub my tongue with an industrial car wash.

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