What The Hell Was The Point Of That?!

More like Smart No-Serve.  Im witty.

More like Smart No-Serve. I'm witty.

In order to bartend where I live, I need to finish and successfully complete a course called Smart Serve.

With my vast and incomprehensible intelligence, I waded through the course like… well, like it was air.  The course was so simple I needn’t have studied for the exam.

Either way, I finished the course, and I passed with a 96%.  I can now serve booze.  Or so you’d think!

See, the course was split into 3 modules: Module 1 was for the legal implications of serving a drink, module 2 was the biology lesson on how it affects people, and module 3 was how to keep an “enjoyable atmosphere”.  This means that they taught me how not to serve a drink.

I’ll repeat that.

A course required by law for people to serve alcohol is a course designed to scare the loving crap out of you(i.e if you serve someone a drink, you can be held legally responsible for anything that asshole does) and then tell you how not to serve a drink; and no, there is no 4th module designed to tell you how to make any drinks.

Ergo, how not to serve a drink.

I am now the world’s most knowledgeable prohibitionist.  Fear my wrath, for I am now bartending a wedding with 260 people armed with the knowledge on how not to serve them.

You want a drink? Here’s some milk, and you better like it.




  1. The same thing is needed here in the states, a friend of mine had to do that same thing in order to work at a fundraiser.
    Besides which, where is that martini I asked for a few days ago!?


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