First, I’d like to apologize to everyone on the internet for the following reasons:
I broke my mandate of being funny by being utterly depressing.
Despite the fact that I might feel that that is completely justified, you guys aren’t here to read about my tears and weeping, and if you are, you oughta look for help you sadistic bastards.
Second, schedules. Does anyone know those people who have lists for everything? You know who I am talking about: the crazy responsible and intelligent people who seem to know everything and manage to get everything done within an unreasonably small amount of time…
You know a someone like that, fo sho. If you don’t, then you’re lying out of fear. That person might in fact be you!
In any case, I don’t understand how they do it. I’ve been trying to make lists for the better part of 4 years, and I can’t seem to stick to them. Instead, I bump around through the day finishing things as they come at me. As a result, I do half as much even if I totally worked for the same amount of time. To add, it’s not like I am trying to be such utter fail, it just seems to happen.
So, in order to keep a schedule, I figure I need to go to extreme measures to get my ass in gear.
When I wake up, make a list. The downside to this is that I’m half-asleep when I wake up, and I will probably write some strange stuff. For example, I tried this this morning and this is what I came up with: Need pants, bike, bank, doc time, sleep. Yeah, that didn’t work to well.
The other option is to right a list before I go to bed. That saves me from the strange messages, but there’s another problem: I am a bit lazy. Okay, very lazy. My lazy ass doesn’t want to write lists before it goes to bed, it just wants to go to bed. So it goes to bed, and I have no say in the matter. It then likes to stay there when it shouldn’t, and it plots with my covers to keep me trapped within my feathery confines. Waking up for me is like trying to escape a high security prison, but comfy.
My last option is to make lists as I go through the day. This has one glaring problem though: how in %$#& am I supposed to write a list down for something if I’m doing one of the following:
- Moving large objects.
- Operating heavy machinery.
- Running away from my brothers after I’ve driven a large truck over their feet.
- Continuing to run away after they’ve released the hounds.
- Defeating hounds in a close, brutal battle.
- Defeating brothers in an epic duel complete with music, costumes, and makeup.
- In the middle of conversation.
Surprisingly enough, these happen on a regular basis, so I find it difficult to whip up a list at all this way. The worst part is how easily I become distracted. I must have the shortest attention span possible without being clinically diagnosed with ADHD and ADD.
Does anyone else have any recommendations? I’m looking for any advice s-