Fearful Newbie Is Fearful

Newbie swimmer, pictured here.

Newbie swimmer, pictured here.

There seems to be a social plague that sickens humans.  It’s called “fear of being new”, or in scientific terms, egonewphobia.

Fact of the matter is, people have a fear of being new to something.  It’s completely well founded, but it’s irrational and it shouldn’t be well founded at all.  People are afraid of asking for help, advice, or anything at all.

As a gamer who likes playing games with other people on my team, it irks me to no end when people can’t admit they are new.  It, infuriates me.  It sickens me.  It might be the smell of them pissing their pants.

For example, I was playing a game of DotA earlier today.  I pick a hero, I grab some items, and I head towards the fighting, ready to kick some ass.

My partner where I’m fighting is already at the fighting area when I get there, which is odd but okay.  After a few seconds of combat, I can tell he’s new to the game: he grabbed the wrong items, is tossing experience at the opponent, and is making it harder for me to help him not lose.  So I ask the question.

“Hey Drow, are you new?”

Silence.  Utter and complete silence.

Some time passes, he gets hit and runs back to heal, comes back, gets hit, heals, comes back.  After a little while, a new guy comes into the fight.  This guy shoots out a hook, sticks the newbie, and drags him into certain death.  Drow then exclaims:

“?? What?!”

Thing is, this wasn’t a very sneaky attack.  The attacker made it well known he was in this area of fighting, and anybody who has played more than 5 games knows what that character is capable of.  It’s to be expected that he will try to grab you like a small child grabs a cookie and eat you for breakfast.

So, I ask again.

“Drow, are you new?”

His answer is simple.


He obviously is, however, and our fate was sealed.  He was killed a few more times, and then left the game.  This led to us being out numbered, and then we lost terribly.

Why do people do this? It happens all the time on the internet because of the assholes therein.  Someone says “Ohai guys! I’m new to this game can you help me please?” and the usual responses are:
“lol noob gtfo”
“Some1 kick teh noob”
“fuck, noob.  We lose gg”

This is usually followed by many people leaving the game, leaving the poor little new guy completely alone and his/her ego sinks.

This isn’t just in games though; this same shit happens in real life! When you’re applying for a job, you cannot possibly say things the way they are, or you won’t get hired.  You’re not a baby sitter, but a “child care provider”.  Gaming store clerk? “Sales representative” or “Floor management”.  I MANAGED MYSELF DAMMIT! One person.  That’s IT.

What’s worse, if you have a job, you can’t say you don’t know anything.  You don’t know how to use the register? Fired.  Don’t know how to handle toxic substances? Fired.

Thing is, being new to something and then having people help you learn those things when you need them is a foreign concept in our society.  People want to have everything packaged in a nice little bow tie box thing, mailed to them, opened for them, and then the little gift knows exactly what to do the instant they’re out of the box.  Why do you think Macs are becoming more popular? Because they work without being told to, right out of the box.  It’s like a computer, for dummies! I am writing this on a Mac, so I have immunity.

I can understand this attitude for a product, but for a human being? There are just some things that people don’t know.  That’s a fact of life, people.

This irrational fear of being new to something is stupid in every sense.  You can’t learn things unless you’re new to them in the first place! When you’re learning, you should want to learn everything you can about said subject when learning it, and the easiest way to do this is to have other people tell you what they’ve learned; but when those people shun you, insult you, and are overall unpleasant towards you, it can’t be helped that you eventually stop asking for advice.

If you stop asking for advice, the pace of knowledge slows down.  If the pace of knowledge slows down, the human race will be attacked by rabid zombies, but we won’t have the knowledge to combat it.  If that happens, we have a terrible horror film!

I don’t want to be in a bad horror film!

We must break the mold! People, if you don’t know something, ask for help.  Yes men, this means asking for directions even if you don’t want to.

We’re not gods(yet) and we don’t know everything on our lonesome; but together, with our knowledge pooled, we are a hell of a lot closer.

TL;DR: The next time someone is new and doesn’t admit to needing help, I will throw a conniption fit and become a psychotic raging were-thing hellbent on consuming all teh worldsdsdsdsds11!!!eleventy one.  Got it?




  1. Semi-off-topic, but I wanted to point out my endless amusement at the fact that I happened to be listening to DotA song by Basshunter when I read your post…


  2. Amen. Hunt for knowledge, help the newbie, speak the truth and open your mind!

    (Oh and us biologists are totally working on the immortality thing, but the omnipotence is a bit hard to code the genes for… we can do impotence… Is that part of your ideal for godly behavior?)


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